I have had this blog post sitting, completely written for a couple weeks, contemplating whether or not to publish it. But, as the pool and swimming season is now present in many places around the world, I finally decided to post it.
I am by no means declaring that I am the perfect parent. There are times that I just want to rest and I cannot because the little ones want to play. I begrudgingly entertain their request at first, but, always have fun whether it is coloring, a game or a puzzle. I always leave play time invigorated.
But, I have to comment on negligent parenting because I see far too much of it.
A couple weeks ago, our family went on a trip to a resort along the Red Sea. We had a fabulous time as documented in previous blog posts. But, one thing disturbed me greatly. A little girl, seven years old, on her own in the pool. Not a parent or guardian in sight. She quickly attached herself to Princess and as a result, Auntie and I supervised her in the pool.
As we got to know this little girl, my heart started break for her. Her mom was on the trip with her...and her boyfriend. She told us many stories about her family and how she does not like the boyfriend. She remembers her dad being sent away. Her mom, quite young to have a seven year old, clearly had no intention of spending time with her daughter. Someone could have walked off with the little girl and the mom would not have noticed.
My biggest concern for this little girl that could not swim, was that she was being unsupervised by the pool. As the summer season approaches, the idea of swimming becomes enticing for many people. But, swimming and supervision of little ones must go hand in hand. This little girl, unsupervised, unable to swim could have been in real danger. Sure, she had some water wings, but that is not enough to save her if she starts to sink!
Then, the next day, a dad left his daughter at the pool (again by Auntie and myself...I stated to think we should charge for babysitting). This little girl was no more than 2 years old. Clearly unable to swim. Immediately, I felt obligated to stay with her until mom and dad came back. But, as Princess opted to leave that pool for the waterslide, I had to leave. I still kept my eye on her. It took almost 10 minutes for the parents to come and get the little two year old girl. A lot can happen in 10 minutes, especially around a pool.
Then, at dinner that night (a buffet), the little two year old girl and her parents sat at a table near us. Dimples cannot sit still at dinner and we constantly have to get him and return him to his seat, but, he does not leave the table area. This little two year old, got up and walked away from the table multiple times. The parents did not seem to notice she was missing. One time the mom got up to get her, but, did so very unhappily. Then, a very loud scream permeated the restaurant. Everyone was looking around except for the parents of the little girl. Sure enough, this little girl had walked behind the buffet, to the grilling area. She was clearly frightened and in a very unsafe place.
I understand that these parents were on vacation, but, the negligence is unavoidable. Plus, the assumption that other adults will care for your children without being asked is completely irresponsible.
I was frightened for both of these little girls. Without the attention of the parents, many things could happen. The two year old could not talk, but, the things that the seven year old was telling us was incredible. She clearly feels the neglect and found attention from Auntie and myself and she would come to find us if we were around.
Being a teacher, I have seen the results of parental neglect regularly. Some students have shared their stories and it blows my mind to think that there are parents out there that take their children for granted and think of them as a responsibility, rather than a privilege. Children are a blessing, not a burden and as such we should give them every ounce of attention that we can give them to ensure that they feel loved, cared for and safe. It is the very bottom of Maslow's Pyramid and sets the foundation for self-actualization as an adult. If a child does not feel loved, cared for and safe, they will never have a foundation to build upon and will have great difficulty reaching a level of self-esteem and self-actualization in their future.
It is evident when students do not have a foundation to build on. These are students that have been pushed aside for most of their lives, left to fend for themselves. They see their teachers as mentors and cling to them. They come home to parents that have worked all day and want to rest. I can relate! By the end of the day, I would love to rest. But, having been separated from my two charming and beautiful children all day, I cannot imagine not playing with them, and teaching them, and answering as many of their inquisitive questions as possible.
Let's try and take the stories above to inspire us, as parents, to view our children as a privilege and joy, rather than a burden and responsibility.
I am by no means declaring that I am the perfect parent. There are times that I just want to rest and I cannot because the little ones want to play. I begrudgingly entertain their request at first, but, always have fun whether it is coloring, a game or a puzzle. I always leave play time invigorated.
But, I have to comment on negligent parenting because I see far too much of it.
A couple weeks ago, our family went on a trip to a resort along the Red Sea. We had a fabulous time as documented in previous blog posts. But, one thing disturbed me greatly. A little girl, seven years old, on her own in the pool. Not a parent or guardian in sight. She quickly attached herself to Princess and as a result, Auntie and I supervised her in the pool.
As we got to know this little girl, my heart started break for her. Her mom was on the trip with her...and her boyfriend. She told us many stories about her family and how she does not like the boyfriend. She remembers her dad being sent away. Her mom, quite young to have a seven year old, clearly had no intention of spending time with her daughter. Someone could have walked off with the little girl and the mom would not have noticed.
My biggest concern for this little girl that could not swim, was that she was being unsupervised by the pool. As the summer season approaches, the idea of swimming becomes enticing for many people. But, swimming and supervision of little ones must go hand in hand. This little girl, unsupervised, unable to swim could have been in real danger. Sure, she had some water wings, but that is not enough to save her if she starts to sink!
Then, the next day, a dad left his daughter at the pool (again by Auntie and myself...I stated to think we should charge for babysitting). This little girl was no more than 2 years old. Clearly unable to swim. Immediately, I felt obligated to stay with her until mom and dad came back. But, as Princess opted to leave that pool for the waterslide, I had to leave. I still kept my eye on her. It took almost 10 minutes for the parents to come and get the little two year old girl. A lot can happen in 10 minutes, especially around a pool.
Then, at dinner that night (a buffet), the little two year old girl and her parents sat at a table near us. Dimples cannot sit still at dinner and we constantly have to get him and return him to his seat, but, he does not leave the table area. This little two year old, got up and walked away from the table multiple times. The parents did not seem to notice she was missing. One time the mom got up to get her, but, did so very unhappily. Then, a very loud scream permeated the restaurant. Everyone was looking around except for the parents of the little girl. Sure enough, this little girl had walked behind the buffet, to the grilling area. She was clearly frightened and in a very unsafe place.
I understand that these parents were on vacation, but, the negligence is unavoidable. Plus, the assumption that other adults will care for your children without being asked is completely irresponsible.
I was frightened for both of these little girls. Without the attention of the parents, many things could happen. The two year old could not talk, but, the things that the seven year old was telling us was incredible. She clearly feels the neglect and found attention from Auntie and myself and she would come to find us if we were around.
Being a teacher, I have seen the results of parental neglect regularly. Some students have shared their stories and it blows my mind to think that there are parents out there that take their children for granted and think of them as a responsibility, rather than a privilege. Children are a blessing, not a burden and as such we should give them every ounce of attention that we can give them to ensure that they feel loved, cared for and safe. It is the very bottom of Maslow's Pyramid and sets the foundation for self-actualization as an adult. If a child does not feel loved, cared for and safe, they will never have a foundation to build upon and will have great difficulty reaching a level of self-esteem and self-actualization in their future.
It is evident when students do not have a foundation to build on. These are students that have been pushed aside for most of their lives, left to fend for themselves. They see their teachers as mentors and cling to them. They come home to parents that have worked all day and want to rest. I can relate! By the end of the day, I would love to rest. But, having been separated from my two charming and beautiful children all day, I cannot imagine not playing with them, and teaching them, and answering as many of their inquisitive questions as possible.
Let's try and take the stories above to inspire us, as parents, to view our children as a privilege and joy, rather than a burden and responsibility.
Thank you for a great reminder to guard our precious gifts and I admire your bravery in posting it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Erin. I really could not decide if I wanted to post it. It was tough. But, in the end, it was very near to my heart, I had to post it. It is the reason I wrote it in the first place.
ReplyDelete